Friday, 04 May 2012

  • I've Got it All Figured Out

    With the end of the semester approaching quickly, I have been running around frantically trying to finish everything.
    Over the weekend I went a-searching for props to use for a few of my song titles for my photo project. I found nothing and decided to order them on Amazon. When I then realized the latest I would receive them might be the 8th and 9th of May I double checked how much time I had left to complete the assignment.  May 10th is the big day- the day this assignment is due. Right at the beginning of class is when presentations start. I began panicking. My love explained that since I had a bunch of rolls of film left over I could start shooting one roll, develop, and make prints of that roll.  Then when my props come in I could shoot the rest. And that I should come up with a couple back up songs in case they don't come in.
    So over the next couple days I finished shooting. I went in to open lab on Wednesday to develop and start prints.  I finished making prints and got them all mounted yesterday.  So I am currently finished with 9 out of the 12 I'm going to make.
    Now that I've gotten that much out of the way I'm a bit more relaxed. One of my props came in for "Bullet with Butterfly Wings" and I'm still waiting on my props for "Jar of Hearts". I think that will be in today which means I should be able to finish shooting this weekend. I can go to lab on Monday night to develop and start prints. Then I should be able to finish everything up on Tuesday.

    I also have a collage to make for 2D Design, due on the same day but I think between Saturday and Wednesday I should be able to get that done.
    And then there's my web project.  That's due in about 2 weeks (the day of the final) since my teacher for that class doesn't give final exams, just the final project.
    As long as I work on it little by little when I have time, I should be okay there.

    Oh, and I have to catch up with my visual journal, which shouldn't be a big deal if I work hard on it each day for the next two weeks.

    I'm kind of glad I have a plan this time. I hate being stressed out.

    ♥Jessi Michelle

Wednesday, 18 April 2012

  • Currently
    Born This Way (Special Edition)
    By Lady Gaga
    Marry the Night
    see related

    Final Photo 1 Project


    So we've pretty much been given the option to do whatever we want for our final as long as the teacher approves it.
    And I've been given the go ahead to do my project.

    Ready? It's a scavenger hunt. Of song titles!

    My brain has been exploding with ideas for interpretations of song titles. I haven't decided how many to do total, but here are songs I have rough ideas for:

    Last Train Home -Lost Prophets
    Ghost Woman and the Hunter - Lacuna Coil
    Jar of Hearts - Christina Perri (Oh yes, this will be interesting..)
    Bullet With Butterfly Wings - Smashing Pumpkins (this one might not happen we'll see)
    Soco Amaretto Lime - Brand New
    Dance With the Devil - Breaking Benjamin (possibly, might go with a different one)

    Some artists I want to include are Lady Gaga, The Swell Season, and Poets of the Fall but I haven't decided on the songs yet.

    I'm really excited!








Friday, 06 April 2012

  • Your Choice

    I was browsing le reddit last night when I couldn't sleep when I came across something that really hit home for me. Someone posted looking for some advice about how to cheer up an employee at the McDonald's he went to who was crying because she felt  her life was going nowhere.
    There were a handful of helpful comments but mostly a bunch of people would argue that it was her choice to work there and that she should suck it up.

    It's insane how often I see that. I've seen posts here on Xanga where people are venting about their job in customer service to which many have responded that "it's your job, and you chose to work there so don't complain."
    And yes, it's true to a certain extent. I made the decision to work at McD's.  But when I first starting looking for jobs I told myself I would never work in fast food.  The fact of the matter is I was tired of getting rejected by company after company and I had an in at McDonald's.  I need to pay bills so I couldn't waste even more time looking for other jobs just because I didn't want to work in fast food.
    Sometimes, it isn't easy. Sometimes you have to take what you can get.

    And what I want to know is why that means I am not allowed to complain.  Yes, I ended up working there. But I didn't choose. I settled. And maybe I chose to settle, but why does that deny me complaining rights?

    It frustrates me to no end seeing posts where people are venting about their day hoping to get comments from people who are in the same boat as them, but instead are bombarded with comments telling them to "shut up" because they chose to be there.

    Because guess what... if something better came along, I'm sure I speak for most people in my shoes to say, we'd choose that instead.

    So, that's the end of that rant...





Thursday, 05 April 2012

Wednesday, 28 March 2012

  • To the person who found my charm bracelet,

    Ohh, how nice. You found a pretty charm bracelet in the Moraine Valley parking lot.
    You must be one of those people who thinks it's okay to just pick things up and keep them without considering for a second that someone might be looking for them.
    What a coincidence that all those charms describe you.... oh wait, they probably don't.
    I just wanted to say, that you're a douchebag.

    SO YEAH.
    Enjoy the rocket ball that I had a seller on Etsy.com custom make for me to represent my boyfriend and I.
    Enjoy the hearthstone from my favorite video game.
    Enjoy the fish that represents my friendship with my dad.
    Enjoy the dragon the represents the year I was born.
    Enjoy the panda that I bought for my late grandmother.
    Enjoy the 20 fucking dollar pendant with the picture of the phase of the moon on my birthday complete with my birthstone.
    Enjoy the bat I got at the Ren Faire.

    Enjoy knowing that you pretty much ruined any glimmer of hope I had that there were respectable human beings around.  (besides my friends and family)

    Rot in hell, you stupid fuckbag.
    Love, me.




Thursday, 23 February 2012

  • Oh yeah, This Still Exists.

    Gotta get ready to leave for class shortly, but I figured while I have some spare time I'd let you all know that I am still alive.
    I know I update the pulses really often but it seems like I forgot that you can write blogs on here.

    Work and school have been keeping me so busy that when I actually do have time for myself or friends, I don't necessarily have the energy.  I've often been just going over to James's after work (I've been working a lot of mid-shifts lately, which I hate) and vegging out until it's time for bed.

    My schedule is probably less hectic than I am making it sound but it's definitely a lot more than I am used to as I've only had one night class a semester for the past few years. In fact, even when I was at school full time, I only worked part time. So this is the first time I'm doing both.

    It's nice to have something to do though.
    Anyway, I'm alive. And that's all I'll bore you with today.




Monday, 05 December 2011

  • Meeting My New Baby

     

    Did I scare you? Hehe. No I didn't have a secret baby. On Saturday I got to play with my new baby, (which isn't fully mine until Christmas) my Canon EOS Rebel T3.
    James and I were supposed to go downtown to shoot pictures and visit the Planetarium. We heard it would rain on and off all day so we ended up staying close to home and shot a forest preserve instead. The weather ended up holding up so we could have gone.  RAAAGE.  But oh well, I still got to play around with the camera.  We're gonna try for this Saturday for our downtown trip and I can't wait.  I love goin on dates, especially shooting dates, with my love.
    And I get to see my  baby one more time before she goes back into the box to be wrapped up for Christmas.
    So anyway the rest are here... hope you like.

    ♥Jessi Michelle


Monday, 28 November 2011

Sunday, 13 November 2011

  • Oh hi. Stuff.


    Yeah so it's been awhile again. I always vow to myself that I'm going to blog more because I like to but never follow through. But I'm here now so I figured I'd update you a bit.
    The last time I blogged I ranted about anxiety issues and such.  Of course not much has changed there but the fact that I've accepted it helps a little I suppose.  I've been trying to sell Micha which has been really overwhelming to me. She's a great car. But after my grandma's passing my dad inherited her Durango so my mom took my dad's Escape and then my mom gave me her Explorer.  I was looking to buy another car anyway and was willing to pay for it. But they said not worry about it which is cool.  So now I have to sell my old Escort which means I'm actually gaining money out of this arrangement. I won't complain too much about that. However since I've posted the listing on craigslist I've gotten non-stop phone calls. And I finally found someone who is buying (assuming he doesn't change his mind) so anyone after that I've had to tell them it's been sold. Which makes me anxious because my inability to please everyone makes me  unnecessarily anxious.  But anyway, once it's over and done with I'll feel better. And I'll be able to buy a good camera so I can pursue photography/graphic design. 
    Oh yes.
    I'm unhappy with my major.
     <sarcasm>Which is such an excellent state to be in when you have one class left for your certificate.  </sarcasm. >
    So along with that last class that I need I want to take an intro to photography class, and a three dimensional design class. Money isn't an issue for once because my parents said I could dip into the "future" fund they have set aside for me. After all it IS for school. And I put a great deal of money into that fund monthly, so it's lot like it'll take a huge beating.  The thing I'm worried about is if I'm taking on too much at once. I'll have three classes and work, not to mention the homework, and the fact that I do want to spend time with my boyfriend and friends. AND I just signed up for a gym membership (woo!) so there's that too. It's a lot and as I've mentioned before I can't handle...a lot. But I guess it's something I have to think about because I really do like school and want to go back.

    It will help me with a future job and I can't possibly express how much my current one irks me.. as @Tebor was able to tell from my angry tweets. 

    Basically, I've been there for 4 years or so with no promotion, unless you count the "coffee specialist" thing which as a joke of a job title as it is. I've asked what I need to do to get promoted and I'm told "learn grill" and whenever I try to learn grill I'm told no.  I know plenty of crew trainers that don't know grill so I don't understand who I gotta FUCK to get moved up to crew trainer. Hell, I already watch the floor when managers go into a meeting AND I already train new people. So why not give me the title and the raise I deserve?! And to see that someone else (who I trained by the way) is going to be getting said raise and title, I'm livid.  I'm not going to say she doesn't deserve it because she's great and she does.  But the fact that I keep getting passed over for this promotion is making me beyond crazy!
    Sooo tired of being fucked over.
    endrant.

    So what else to bore you with? Oh... not that I actually want to go to a doctor or anything, but I'm pretty sure I have acid reflux or something similar to it.  Due to the obnoxious "bubbly" feeling in my throat whenever I drink pop (which is rarely because of that) or alcohol, or when I eat spicy food, anything minty, anything greasy.
    Took a Pepcid. Didn't help.  Took some Tums. Took awhile but it finally worked.  I liked spicy food   But life goes on..

    I think that's about it. 
    I'll bother you another day.
    ♥Jessi Michelle



Monday, 10 October 2011

  • I'm Alive. For the Most Part.

    Things have been pretty... everywhere... in my life lately. I apologize for the lack of updates though.

    For awhile I wasn't feeling like myself. Hell I don't even know who "myself" is supposed to really be but all I know is myself and I were not getting along very well at all. My anxiety level was at an all time high and I couldn't get in control of my emotions.
    For seemingly no reason at all I would feel completely depressed at any given time.  It was really starting to wear on me.
    A part of it was probably because I'd trip myself out thinking about all that was going wrong:
    My grandmother has cancer, half my family thinks I don't care, I have a shitty job that makes me more miserable than I can possibly express, I can't sleep at night because of these fucking bed bugs, I have no idea what I'm going to do with my life, and any slight problem makes me feel like I want to cry.

    Overwhelmed much? I think so.

    A couple weeks ago was a bit of a turning point. My grandma passed away sooner than expected which made for possibly the longest week of my life thus far.  It was hard, since she was my favorite (I know it's wrong to choose favorites but she was) grandmother and I'm pretty sure most of my cousins agreed. It was a little easier knowing it was coming, getting to spend time with her, getting to say goodbye and such. But it still sucks and she'll be greatly missed.
    The hardest part really, was seeing my great grandmother (her mother) at the funeral. She lost her daughter and she was so devastated.  She kept crying and saying "my baby's gone, my baby's gone". Quite possibly the saddest thing I've ever witnessed and I tear up just writing about it.
    She's doing a bit better now, bless her. 

    Even though it hurts, it feels like the worst is over. Almost a relief. I'm happy she's not hurting anymore because it was so hard seeing her like that.

    Then last week, the bed I bought came in so James and I went to pick it up.  He spent the day helping me clean out my room, vacuum, spray top to bottom, and of course move the old bed out and the new one in.
     It was a long day and I know haven't completely diminished the bed bug population but I have put the biggest dent in it yet and am determined to continue vacuuming, spraying, steaming, and cleaning on a regular basis until I have won.
    I'm done with these little fuckers and it's finally time to get rid of them once and for all.

    As for my job, well I'm trying to find a new one. I'm done with customer service.  D-O-N-E.  I automatically assume almost everyone I meet is an asshole and it's all because of working with the public.  I hate who I've become because of them and it's time to leave.

    And the anxiety, well, there's not much I can do there but wait it out and be glad I have someone who always holds me when it does take over. 

    But all in all, I've been feeling a bit more clear-headed than I have been over the last few months. And that's a start.

    ♥Jessi Michelle
  • Visit xTwilightAlchemistX's Xanga Site
    • Name: Jessi Michelle
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 10/9/2008

About Me

  • I'm the quiet type that everyone's always warning you about.

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Quotes

"Our dreams shatter when we wake, but the truly ambitious try to piece them back together, no matter how long it takes." -Jake

"That's better than sex... with a virgin... who is touched for the very first time... *singing 'Like a Virgin' offkey*" -Rob

"It was like they were digging for gold in each other's esophaguses Oh... my... God... WHAT did you swallow!" -Tara

"Come on now, the puzzle pieces don't fit." -Tara

"And Jesus said... thou shall not touch yourself, or sheep." -Tara

"But it's mine... and I paid money for it... and I'm poor!" -Me

"Agh! Nipple!" -Jake

"*gasp* A hat!" -Liz

"I have closed my legs" -Me

"Yes they can!! They can't use dead people!!" -Ali

"Kelsey's been trying to join newspaper for like five months. On a whim, I sign up in five minutes." -Jake

"Don't make me cur..." -Jake

"I'll kill you boi!" -Liz

"Tom Hanks... that poor guy is always getting stuck places." -Me

"I'm spitting on my own choke!" -Liz

"I'm going to get some roller-rinks and tackle him!!" -Liz

"Me: You can do better than that! Liz: But I'll hurt myself!"

"Forrest Grump... I mean Gump... I mean whatever." -Liz

"Tara: Did he have an internal penis? Me: Nooo.... I think that's called a vagina"

"You have six power and I have five power... and together we make eleven!!" -Kelsey

"Daveface: I'm a piece of art. Mandi: You're a piece of something..."

"Whoa... Pat in a hat." -Bob

"I was seeing how wet I was.... WAIT NO!" -Mandi

"Me: What's this thing for? Tara: It's in case the coffee is too hot to keep... my... voice from echoing." Bob: This coffee is hot... hot... ot... ot!"

"When I get lonely, I pet my head. Wait! Noooo!" -Tara

"My car is full of tank..." -Liz

"It's always an adventure getting me out of my pants." -Jason

"What's your favorite childhood memory? I want to destroy it." - Dan

"Tara: Don't you get tired of eating nuts all the time? Breanna: No, I love nuts. Tara: I want some nuts. Breanna: There's some in my car. But those are like 3 months old. I don't think anybody wants to eat those. Me: O.O! Okay, Micheal Jackson."

"She looks like a kitty, how could you not want to stuff her?" - Tara

"Me (holding a firefly): I shall name you... fuck. Liz: Nice to meet you, fuck. Me: Actually, it's pronounced FUUUUCK!"

(A conversation about McD apple pies and the cost) "Me: One is .99. Two for a dollar. Liz: lol whats the point of that? Me: I have no earthly idea"

(Debate on whether Taylor Swift is country or not) "Tara: No she's not, she's pop. Me: She's country-pop Tara: Yeah. She's pop with a little bit of country. Me: No, she's half and half. Tara: You're half and half. Me: What does that even mean? Tara: You're creamy."

"Me (looking down at a slug): Hey it's a slug. (Dan shifts his feet) Me: Nooooo don't step on it. Dan: ... I wasn't going to... (Look up to see Dan pulling a lighter from his pocket) Me: What the FUCK is wrong with you????"

"Ken's milkshake brings Liz to the yard." -Jake

"Amanda: But he's MY Slavey Davey. Tara and Me (in unision): Wait... did you just say call him Slavey Davey??"

(On Dan going to hell) "Dave: Yo, Satan. You're doing a good job running hell and everything, and I'ma let you finish. But Dan is the best devil ever. Just saying. Me: So Dan is gonna Kanye West Satan??"

"Katie (singing "Fever" by Adam Lambert"): I'm gonna give you that fever! Me: You mean AIDS??"

"Dude at bar: You're SO perfect right now. Katie: Right now, huh."

"Me: What the hell is wrong with you? Dan: Logic.

"Nothing's on fire here, Ross. Something bad happened." -Me

"When I die you can put 'LOL I diedz' on my tombstone. Respawn in 3... 2... shit! Disconnected!" -Dan

"Tara: Stop putting your hand in my goodie bag. Me: Why? Everyone else has."

"You just ate my ass bacon!" -Rudy

"Zombie + Bear = Thriller" -I don't really know who gets credit for this one. It was a result of a conversation between Nicole, Crenshaw, and Gorz.

"My shield defuckted it" -Kels

"Me: Why do you keep clicking the like button? James: Because I liiike you."